Double
It’s too hot to sleep. I twist my hair up off my neck and sleep naked
under a cotton sheet with only a fan, but I still wake up. In the
still close dark the sheets are damp and when my hand drifts lower i’m
more hot and more slick there. I remember you here and over me, I
remember you winding your hand in my hair and pulling, making me arch
my back. I can hear your voice that clearly now, that murmur behind
and above me, I know what you need, right before your hot mouth finds
the back of my neck and you thrust yourself home, inside me.
Eyes closed now I dip one finger inside myself. Hot, wet, swollen, and
also tight. I remember you behind me in the shower. We’d lit the
candles and left the lights off and you knelt behind me, making me
lean into the water pouring over me, sluicing over the curves of hips
and breasts and ass. You lifted my breasts from behind, weighed them
in your hands, pulled and pinched the nipples until I pushed back into
you. You made me lean forward, elbows on the slick wet tile. You knelt
behind me and I felt you cupping my ass and opening me, my cunt and
ass both exposed to you, to your gently persuading fingers and probing
tongue. I ground back on your face, the way now im grinding into my
hand, remembering you.
When you think I’m quivering and wet enough you slide a finger into my
ass, following your tongue. Then i feel the plug, slippery. You spread
me open, and it hurts to feel it slide in, but it’s this hurt I
welcome and stretch to accomodate, eager. Now your hands on my clit,
slippery, you play with me. Taking my hand and guiding my fingers
inside my cunt, you tell me to tell you what it’s like, you make me
feel it. How the geomoetry of my cunt has changed, how I can feel the
rigidity of the plug and its ripples through the walls of my cunt,
narrowing that passage, making it tighter, this familar smoothness now
alien, different.
Oh, fuck, I gasp, please–I don’t know what I’m asking for, but you
answer me anyway. Yes you tell me. I’m going to fuck you, I’m going to
give you my cock.
On the bed you make me lie down and then slide into me, an inch at a
time. Your hands tighten on my hips. Standing alongside the bed with
me stretched across it, my legs dangling off it, you slide into me,
watching my face. One inch and then withdrawing, now two. I almost
can’t bear this feeling of fullness, of being taken and penetrated so
thoroughly, in two places. This is mine, you’ve said to me before
about my cunt, and it’s true; I come when you tell me, and I come for
you, but now I feel it in a way I have not before. You do know what I
want, I want your cock, I want to travel farther, travel faster, to
push the limits of sensation of myself and breach the shells that hold
the self. I want to transcend time and place and circumstance. This
thing that means you wake with the taste of me on your mouth and the
smell of me on your hands, the way that the sound of my voice invades
you in dreams and you hear me with you in stillness, in church,
especially in church, the same way that when I listen for the light
within it’s you I hear.
And when you thrust into me all the way, filling me entire, stretching
me open I wrap my legs around your hips, pulling you in deeper,
shuddering under you, you fall forward, taking my hands in yours now,
holding them over my head, long deep slow thrusts now, for as long as
you can bear, until you stop and pull my legs up, bend them, plunge
into me as deeply and as desperately as you want, no restraint now, I
hear the shower still running, the slap of our wet bodies, my sounds,
yours. When I beg you to let me come, to tell me to come, you keep
fucking me hard and fast, you ask me teasingly if I’m sure, if I’m
ready. I scratch you now, nails digging in before I remember not to, I
want to bite you and instead I pull your hair, yes, I say damn you,
yes–
Come then, come for me now O you say urgently, come for me like you’re
falling, come on my cock now baby
and I do, and i hear you swearing while I come on you and around you,
these blasphemous and also transcendent prayers we mouth imploringly.
I feel you trying to hold back, and then oh jesus, you say, and I feel
you start coming, hot spurts, I want it running out of me afterwards.
You’re still hard and you fuck me with smooth deep slow strokes into
coming again, I’m shaking. I don’t think I can come like this, all of
me stretched open and filled, but you make me, you won’t pull out or
take the plug out, I clench around it, falling.
I come like that now again, remembering you, falling. I fall into
sleep with my fingers still dipped inside me, like you did.
