My lover P has asked me to tell him everything; all my sexual history, and I do. Just as he shares his with me. This is part of what I told him, and then what follows is the fantasy we created and came to on the phone together.

P: God why didn’t we know each other then??!! I want to catch you masturbating in the girls room of your high school
And watch you… (Eros, Logos http://www.mycyberaffair.blogspot.com )

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I leave my theology class, asking permission like the good Catholic girl I am. Always good on the outside, though I know myself to be dirty within. The teachers love me, I’m always the one with the answers, and so sometimes when I’m really bored I’ll just ask for permission to leave. I always get it.
Sometimes I wander around the school for an extra few minutes. Sometimes I leave notes in my friends lockers. Sometimes I stand outside their classrooms where they can see me but the teacher can’t, and make faces to make them laugh.
And sometimes, like now, I go to the girl’s room because I have to cum.

Because I know I’m really a bad girl. I’m 15 and I’ve been touching myself every night for years, and I have to cum every night.
Sometimes more than that. A lot of times, actually. Once I made myself cum five times in a row, on a weekend, jeans around my ankles, hand inside my wet panties.
Sometimes I lock myself in the bathroom at home when I get out of school, to cum, because I can’t wait.
I don’t think I feel bad about this or sinful . . . but I do feel ashamed. I know none of my friends do this. I can just tell from the way they talk about boys.

And sometimes I can’t wait til I’m out of school, and I have to cum here.
And it gives me a dirty thrill, leaving my class where the priest is talking about virtue, to make myself cum in the bathroom, and when I realize this I do feel shamed.
He’s pretty young, in his 30’s I’d guess, and sometimes when I cum I think of him fucking me. And then I know, I know I’m going to hell! But I can’t help it.

The halls are empty, my footsteps echo, and my breathing is already light and quick when I push open the bathroom door, hoping I’ll be alone.
I am.

I go to the stall furthest from the door, my favorite for when I cum here. The locks are all broken, and if someone does come in, I think that will give me enough time to be safe.

And once I’m in there I sigh with relief, and pleasurable anticipation. Now!

Mmmm…I love this, pulling up my plaid skirt, sliding my hand at last into my cotton panties. I lean against the wall of the stall, my knees weak. I’m already wet, my clit swollen, and I know I could cum quickly, but I want to hold off a bit, tease myself, the way I imagine a lover would.
My other hand slips inside my white cotton blouse, to squeeze my nipple, and I make myself gasp.
The insides of my thighs are trembling. I close my eyes and imagine someone fucking me against the wall, lifting me up, oh I’d wrap my legs around him!
I think of the boy who begged me to suck his cock—I wouldn’t—but I love to imagine that I did, imagine what that would be like, and it always makes me cum.
A moan escapes me, I try but too late to catch it, and I know I’ll cum soon,
and I’m so lost in sensation, drowning, that I don’t hear the door opening, the soft footsteps stealthily approaching.
Until the door of this stall is thrown open and I’m caught—
I recognize you, you’re a senior, and you stand there gaping at me, taking me in.
Oh god I’m so ashamed! Found like this, blouse pulled open and skirt pulled up, hand deep inside my soaked panties, no doubt about what I’ve been doing.
But I love the way you’re looking at me! The way your eyes are all over me.

I can see that you’re hard, I’m watching your cock swell in your trousers .Oh god!
And then you smile, and I’m frightened, ashamed, thrilled.
“you have to have it, don’t you.”
I can’t speak.
You rub your cock, and then, looking me straight in the eyes, still smiling, you say,
“Get on your knees.
I want you to suck my cock.”
And you start to unzip your fly.

I can’t move.
You gently put a hand on my shoulder, pushing me down, while pulling your cock out.
“You know you want to.”
And I do. I do!! You know I do.
I get on my knees and open my mouth. I cant help it, because you’re right, I do want to.

You shudder when my lips close around you, encircling the head, when I lay my tongue along you, tasting you.
Suddenly your hands are in my hair, gripping, pushing your cock deeper into me, forcing it down my throat. Moaning, you say,” I’m going to fuck your mouth”
And you do. I love it! Oh god, I cant help sliding my hand back into my panties, whimpering, while you gag me with your cock. I love it, I do, I want to take it.
“You dirty fucking slut”, you whisper, it echoes off the tile.
“That’s right, play with yourself, you whore, you love it.”
“You love to suck cock, don’t you?” you say, and I do, you’re right, I always knew I would.
Loving the way you’re thrusting into my throat, the way your cock tastes, feels on my tongue, in my throat.
Mmmm, so lovely, how a cock feels, so soft and hard all at once.
I’m so wet and you know, can hear, can see me frantically fucking myself.
“Cum” you say hoarsely, “cum, cum like the slut I know you are”
“I’m going to cum, im going to fill your throat, drink it, take it all”
And you grab the back of my head, making me take all of you, I’m gagging but I want it, your cum pouring down my throat over my tongue. You groan, shooting, and I cant help it, I’m cumming too, helplessly, all over my hand ,while you fuck my mouth, and you know I’m cumming, that I love what we’ve done, that I love your cum. That im cumming because I love sucking your cock. I am your whore. Use me…
Your hands still in my hair, loosening your grip now.
I can breathe again, a little, but I drink every drop, clean you with my tongue.
Collapse sitting on the floor now, legs too weak after cumming so hard. I close my eyes, so ashamed.
I hear you zipping up, I hear your footsteps walking away, I don’t look .The door opens and softly closes, and I can’t believe what I’ve just done.

What were you doing in here anyway now, you should be in class, and why the girl’s room? I realize later that you’re like me, you needed to cum, and you like jerking off in the girl’s room. Maybe you were hoping to find a slut like me, or for me to find you. You get turned on at the risk, like me.

Slowly my breathing returns to normal, slowing down, like my heart rate.
Maybe you won’t tell anyone, maybe you’ll be ashamed too, keep my secret? I can’t hope for that…

But then I hear the door open again, and your whisper,
“Tomorrow, 11:15, ok?” Hopeful, yearning, unsure.

I say the only thing I’m ever to be capable of saying to you:
“Yes.”

O